You’ve Got The Love

My favorite email of the summer- or at least one that sticks with me, each and every day.

Nikki, you’re seriously so much smarter than you think you are. But thank you. You shouldn’t feel inadequate ever. And by “you shouldn’t feel inadequate” I mean— I know you know you’re good at it, but I don’t think you even realize what a singular and enviable talent your people skills are. It’s admirable and intimidating how naturally it comes to you. And it’s not a consolation prize, it’s a real and formidable intelligence.*

*Like, as long as we’re getting real.

Things I May Sell My Eggs For:

Part of me thinks it is silly to post a blog of material things you want to buy. That part of me attempts to be a normal human every day. That part of me is the only reason I’m not in sweat pants eating biscuits and gravy and a milkshake right now.

Okay. Fine. I am in sweatpants eating biscuits and gravy and a milkshake right now. Are you happy?

Just kidding. I’m eating laxatives and wearing heels.

I can't feel my feet. But they look great.

The larger part of me spends a substantial chunk of my week looking and pondering things I want to buy. What can I say?

I thought we were being open.

So in the spirit of open-ness…I like shopping. I like new shit. I like pretty things. I like biscuits and gravy before bedtime.

I may never buy any of these things-but if I could, I certainly would. Enjoy.

******None of these places are endorsing this, or me,  or know about me…. I wish I knew something, anything about the law and could write a better disclaimer….******** 😉

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So here I go- in no particular order… things I want right now:

Biella satin high-heel loafers

These are shoes that  may be overpriced but are definitely adorable. My concern is that they will rip on the heel mere moments after I place them on my feet.  JCrew also has a lot of nerve charging so much for shoes.

They aren’t a brand known for shoes. Somehow they need to set themselves apart from actual shoe brands. The way they  choose to do so, should involve making their shoes under 100.00. Think about it Mr. and Mrs. Crew.

But since I’m writing about things I want- let me tell you why I want them.

They’re pretty. But not too pretty. They’d look great with all my office clothes, they are masculine, with a feminine fabric and are in a color you almost never find anything in. Plus- I’m trying to absolutely destroy my feet by the time I’m 30. I mean really, really, fuck them up beyond recognition. I think these could help.

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Moving on:

Anthropologie will burn for its sins.

I love this dress from Anthropologie. I yearn for clothes from Anthropologie. I check their website every morning for new additions. I don’t know why-I  simply adore their aesthetic.

Of course, Anthropologie clothes (and I’ve collected a couple at this point) are the gift that keeps on giving. They are almost always dry clean only and so each time I wear them I get to spend more money. Thank you for giving me something to live for, upscale Urban Outfitters.

I love this dress because I feel in my heart it will look good on me. Cinched waist, nuetral color. Can wear to dinner or the office. Leifsdottir, which is a great brand. Be still, my heart.

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Raptim Ad Sidera Tollar

Ambition Wax Seal Necklace

This handmade wax seal necklace seal reads Raptim Ad Sidera Tollar: I Would Go As Far As The Stars.

And here we go with the Pyrrha necklaces. These are featured in a store right by my house. For some reason-and I don’t know why (psychosis) I like jewelery better with a narrative.

I like almost everything better with a narrative.

I like weird jewelery and I like it to really mean something. If you haven’t heard of Pyrrha , you should check it out. Unless you aren’t into that. In which case..uh…what else are you doing right now?

Nothing. Yeah, I thought so.

But seriously. I hate common jewelery. The hearts. The Tiffany’s bracelets. Everybody can have those. What is that sayin about you? That you like what everybody else does? That you enjoy cubic zirconia? No. No. No. NO.

Should someone ever feel the strange urge to put a ring on it- I hope it isn’t a big rock and I hope it is unique. (and a canary diamond. K. Thx.)

So the first necklace I want- I will probably buy. I have included the description immediately below each picture.

I think I’m a pretty ambitious person. At least when I want something. I. will. get. it. Let me be clear: If I want it. I get it.

That’s called being a socio/and/or psychopath in most circles. But in America- we call it ambition. Truth be told: if something I wanted was on the stars…I’d be researching how to go as far as the stars right now. Instead, I’m writing a blog post that will be featured in my museum exhibit someday. (please turn the flash off on your iphone 34, sir)

Second: I want this bad boy

Crazy like a fox

Gold on Silver Fox Head Wax Seal Necklace

This handmade wax seal necklace features a fox which represents someone who will use all of their wit and wisdom in their defense.

I think it is clear to most that know me that I use all my wit in my defense. I try and throw in wisdom, but its hard when you’re being asked to explain how all those pictures of children appeared on your desktop. Wisdom doesn’t help as much in that situation… so.

But I do love it. I do think of myself as crazy like a fox. Cunning, witty, sort of always skittish. Hunting and eating voles. Similar.

Last, but not least-

Unique Quoique Deux

Rare Birds Wax Seal Necklace

This French handmade wax seal depicts two lovebirds and reads Unique Quoique Deux which means Unique Though Two. This represents two unusual types who have found each other.

This is all I want out of life. Unique Quoique Deux. Partner in crime.

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But now that I have talked about two months rent in pyrrha necklaces…moving on:

The cameras are coming

I love this bag. I hope it will fit all my makeup. I hope it will look nice in the museum dedicated to my life. It is from the Chicago museum of contemporary art.  Thank you for sending a message that we all needed to hear MCA.

On that note: to this day I regret not wearing makeup the day I was hit by a car. I should have put on makeup when I got home, but instead I was all “Drive me to the emergency room-my arm is broken” and the whole ride there I regretted going “bare faced.” Vanity will lead to my demise. I already want to just go “gestational carrier” and save what is left of my youthful figure. I’m sorry, God.

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$14.00 pints. Makes sense.

Speaking of vanity- lets eat ice cream!

But seriously. I have long championed Jeni’s ice cream as being the best ice cream out there. I shipped my brother 4 pints for his birthday, and he confirmed my suspicions. Since then, I’ve tried their wackiest flavors when I can. Jeni is absolutely worth the time, money and caloric intake. Her ice cream is absolutely amazing and I’m sure her book is beautiful. Who else will teach me how to make violette meringue ice cream?

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Amen.

 

Last, but certainly not least for today- this is by an artist on the 20X200 website. I was told about this website when I helped a co-worker hang a framed picture of a bird. It took us 20 minutes. After 15 minutes we realized there were hangers already on the other side. I am not smart.

This piece is by artist Mike Monteiro. My apologies, sir-if you don’t want this on my blog. But I love your art. Trust me-when I actually get paid, and get my loan money…I am purchasing this. Not only this, but another piece for my friend Amanda.

This sums it up. I don’t want to be a bridge-burner…but I sort of don’t give a goddamn.

If you cross me-and you aren’t one of a handful of people who have earned a “bullshit” pass…I will just drop you like its hot.

I really will. Life is too short. Trust me-there is somebody else out there who would love to hang out with me until they burn their bridge. If not- then I’m still sitting pretty. I have a great life- a lot of bridges burning to light my way….

and according to webmd…a lot of eggs to sell to buy this shit.

Over and Out

-N

Oh Hey There

Oh. Hey guys*. I’m pretty embarrassed that I haven’t posted in so long. I’ve been really, really busy-as indicated below.

Saturday night-big plans. Talking to my dog in the other room on the phone

But really. I do other things besides surf the internet and eat food. Sometimes I sleep. Sometimes I go to the dog park. It is hard to lead the rockstar lifestyle I do and maintain a blog.

Took the words right out of my mouth...as I was saying them over some ceviche

So since the last post- which I don’t recall making- I’ve finished my first year in school**, moved, started a new job, and a bunch of other stuff that can be summed up as being both shitty and awesome…and then shitty some more, and maybe more awesomeness. For a short time, my best school friend was in Chicago– touching down briefly between Asia and Boston***. During that time I watched more HBO than I care to admit-but seeing as though it is not tv…it’s HBO; I will count it as educational.

From that I can give you the following information:

I don't know how to rebuild after Mildred Pierce

Mildred Pierce needs to be watched….absolutely never—or, in the alternate- absolutely intoxicated or during a bi-polar period of mania. Unless you get excited by 7 hours of shitty things happening to Kate Winslet. But then your name would probably Sam Mendes…(burn notice)

Watching Mildred Pierce with even the slightest bit of depression or anxiety is like when I took a road trip with 60 munchkins. There are just some  inevitable truths.

At the end of the roadtrip I had consumed 60 munchkins.

At the end of Mildred Pierce I was incredibly depressed.

But as we’ve all had to learn the hard way: HBO giveth, and HBO taketh away.

For the remaining weeks of this summer, I have worked. I took my last final on a Wednesday, and I started my new summer job on the following Monday. I’m not one for “weeks off” and I really enjoy working. I really enjoy having a monotonous daily schedule. Even at the job-that-shall-not-be-named****, I rarely took vacations. I really enjoy my job now. For a multitude of reasons, but the most important is that everybody is awesome. I’m sure not everybody (I know not everybody)-but almost everybody. Funny, charming, silly, and a few are incredibly, unbelievably nice. I feel blessed to have been asked to intern for such lovely people.

In turn (see what I did there?), I’ve tried to infiltrate to the very core the best way I know how- by making people laugh, and baking them high caloric food that I hide addictive substances in.#

The meth folds right in.

It is pretty clever! Thanks for saying so! You see- each Monday, I bring in baked goods, and everybody flocks over and gobbles them. I then start cracking jokes and between the extremely addictive hallucinogenic drugs I put in the baked goods, and my C level humor… I start to seem like a really good employee who absolutely knows what she’s doing.

 

I’m thinking of starting a “consulting” firm for this sort of thing. (don’t steal my idea 2-to-4 people who stumble across this blog)

Anyway- that is what prompted me to update today. I had two yearnings today. One, was to cook. I absolutely adore cooking and baking. It has been so hot this summer, and so gross that I’ve been out of commission and lazy. My Sunday night office-baking happy hour is the only time I have been forcing myself to cook. But today, raining and dreary–I was absolutely possessed to make soup. (I didn’t-I ate a turkey burger from Whole Foods. The cycle continues)

I also had a hankering to write. Maybe because I slept more than 4 hours last night for the first time in a long time.

In any event- I am back-for all my fans (my mom, my brother, and me re-reading this 40 times). I’m hoping to make a post devoted to all the things I’ve been baking for work, and all the recipes I’m hoping to bake for work.

So far I’ve been keeping things pretty middle-of-the-road. But I’d like to step it up and make some high-level shit. Like a giant layer cake, or a crazy cheesecake, or donuts, or maple bacon frosted pancake cupcakes. (But who’s counting?) So. I’m not going to say surviving- I’m going to say thriving.

Maybe tomorrow, during baking happy hour-

I’ll write a post that most people always dream of reading- what is it like, you ask-to bake something from a recipe, while drinking white wine and listening to Fleet Foxes?

I know, I know- you’ve always wanted to know. To get behind the music and see what the fuck goes on during that type of shit show. Let me tell you friends- it’s wilder than you can even imagine.

Until then, signing off-

I use oxycontin instead of butter.

*myself reading this tomorrow, my mom, my friend Nick who added this to google reader. Thanks.
**literally my first year; kindergarten my mom is typing this for me.
*** oddly now referred to as the proscuitto-xanax trade route.
****for litigation reasons. Not really. But I am suing them. So, Really.
#Not intended to be a factual statement. Have you tried the butterscotch blondies? Yeah- yeah they’re tasty. Now what’s your pin number?